It was Friday afternoon and after much debate with myself on the “should I or shouldn’t I?” I started to get ready for the big blind date. My best friend Laney was over and she was really enjoying my vulnerability. The truth is that this is something that Laney would do. I had always prided myself on never being set up. I had always hung on to the hope of running into my prince charming at a Starbuck’s or something more pedestrian. A set up? A blind date? Had my ability to attract the demure ended? Had I lost my own zsa zsa zhou?
Laney tried to reassure me that my outfit was appropriate for a late afternoon cocktail at a 5 star hotel lounge. She could barely keep a straight face because I had always said, “I would never do this.” My phone rang and it was my doorman. He was calling to let me know that there was someone waiting for me in the lobby. “Veruka, there is a gentleman in the lobby for you.” “Is he cute?” I asked. Silence. I said “thanks for the encouragement, I will be right down.”
I stubbed out my cigarette as if it was the tobacco’s fault that I was in this mess. I said to Laney “well?” She smirked and said, “You look like the first lady.” “Oh fuck it” I said, “let me get this over with and then remind me afterward that ‘Crazy’ doesn’t live here anymore.” Laney promised as she escorted me to the elevator like I was her own baby she was letting leave the nest. The elevator opened and I stepped in. She said, “Call me” and then the doors closed. As the floors got lower it was the moment of truth. I had always been the girl who would try anything once and this was truly a new beginning. The elevator doors slid open and there he was. He held out his hand and said, “I am Derek Cohen, it’s nice to finally meet you.”
It was a strange introduction. It felt like we had met before in a moment neither of us knew about. It was comfortable and the banter was almost immediate. I couldn’t decide if he was too corporate but I was relieved to know that I would probably survive this blind date. Derek walked me to his car and as a perfect gentleman he opened the door for me. It wasn’t until I was seated inside that I realized that it was a Bentley. I should’ve known to just get out and run. But trying to be the optimist that Laney had been prepping I tried to keep an open mind.
Derek said, “How does the Ritz sound?” I responded, “I didn’t realize that the Ritz had hourly rooms.” He said “Oh no, this could take all afternoon…” I was shocked. He got it. He was a smart ass. He wasn’t nearly as dull as I was expecting. “The Ritz sounds lovely.” And so it began… the story of us.
I ordered a coca cola and for him a “D.C.”. Trying to not be shallow I overlooked the acronym for diet coke. Was this suburban humor? Then the questioning. I cannot really describe it. It was a barrage of questions. A kind of personal interrogation that I wasn’t sure if it was too invasive or if this is how they do things in the professional world. Is this what structure meant? The mystery and excitement was thrown out. It was a cutthroat interview process. I just had one small question… What position was I applying for?
Clearly I had not gotten the memo. Maybe, I thought, “this is what high school was like…” The hard press had begun. In Derek’s own words he was “looking for his soul mate that could partner him in travel and enjoy life with.” He wanted to get married again and was not opposed to having another litter of children. He was not looking for someone to be a housewife. Cooking and cleaning was not a requirement because he informed me that he had a personal chef and 2 maids. He was hoping to retire soon from his financial Mecca he had built and spend more time on giving back. He used words like “fiscally responsible” and “fiduciary duty.”
“Mountains or beaches?” “City or country?”” rain or shine?” It was constant. The line of questioning made me wonder if this is what a genius IQ’s version of pillow talk was. This was very telling… “Disney or Shakespeare?’ That made me think. I hesitated for a moment and I think he wondered if he was talking a bit over my head. I said, “As much as I love them both, I am not sure if I can decide between the two. They both have elements of tragedy, for god’s sake Bambi’s mother got shot! Snow white was poisoned and Cinderella was an orphan.” Derek raised his eyebrows. He was intrigued. I know he was used to being the person who thought outside the box but now I have made him think. Who knew? As much as he was expecting this mannequin type woman to be the needed accessory to his already storybook life, I had depth.
Derek confessed that Finding Nemo was one of his favorites. Yes, it was cute but I think Freud would have a lot to say about this. Isn’t this a fictional world where an anonymous purchaser traps an innocently adorable little fish in an aquarium? Nemo spends so much of his life circling a glass cage while being adored for his beauty from the onlookers. When tired of people peering at him he decides to escape and find his way home. Wow. I think it would be much more realistic if the shark just ate Nemo. Maybe anti climatic but at least there would be an element of truth.
As I sat sipping my third coca cola I had to wonder… Was it possible that Nemo and I were living in a parallel universe? Was I watching a preview of what my future would hold? And if so, would I have changed the ending?
Laney tried to reassure me that my outfit was appropriate for a late afternoon cocktail at a 5 star hotel lounge. She could barely keep a straight face because I had always said, “I would never do this.” My phone rang and it was my doorman. He was calling to let me know that there was someone waiting for me in the lobby. “Veruka, there is a gentleman in the lobby for you.” “Is he cute?” I asked. Silence. I said “thanks for the encouragement, I will be right down.”
I stubbed out my cigarette as if it was the tobacco’s fault that I was in this mess. I said to Laney “well?” She smirked and said, “You look like the first lady.” “Oh fuck it” I said, “let me get this over with and then remind me afterward that ‘Crazy’ doesn’t live here anymore.” Laney promised as she escorted me to the elevator like I was her own baby she was letting leave the nest. The elevator opened and I stepped in. She said, “Call me” and then the doors closed. As the floors got lower it was the moment of truth. I had always been the girl who would try anything once and this was truly a new beginning. The elevator doors slid open and there he was. He held out his hand and said, “I am Derek Cohen, it’s nice to finally meet you.”
It was a strange introduction. It felt like we had met before in a moment neither of us knew about. It was comfortable and the banter was almost immediate. I couldn’t decide if he was too corporate but I was relieved to know that I would probably survive this blind date. Derek walked me to his car and as a perfect gentleman he opened the door for me. It wasn’t until I was seated inside that I realized that it was a Bentley. I should’ve known to just get out and run. But trying to be the optimist that Laney had been prepping I tried to keep an open mind.
Derek said, “How does the Ritz sound?” I responded, “I didn’t realize that the Ritz had hourly rooms.” He said “Oh no, this could take all afternoon…” I was shocked. He got it. He was a smart ass. He wasn’t nearly as dull as I was expecting. “The Ritz sounds lovely.” And so it began… the story of us.
I ordered a coca cola and for him a “D.C.”. Trying to not be shallow I overlooked the acronym for diet coke. Was this suburban humor? Then the questioning. I cannot really describe it. It was a barrage of questions. A kind of personal interrogation that I wasn’t sure if it was too invasive or if this is how they do things in the professional world. Is this what structure meant? The mystery and excitement was thrown out. It was a cutthroat interview process. I just had one small question… What position was I applying for?
Clearly I had not gotten the memo. Maybe, I thought, “this is what high school was like…” The hard press had begun. In Derek’s own words he was “looking for his soul mate that could partner him in travel and enjoy life with.” He wanted to get married again and was not opposed to having another litter of children. He was not looking for someone to be a housewife. Cooking and cleaning was not a requirement because he informed me that he had a personal chef and 2 maids. He was hoping to retire soon from his financial Mecca he had built and spend more time on giving back. He used words like “fiscally responsible” and “fiduciary duty.”
“Mountains or beaches?” “City or country?”” rain or shine?” It was constant. The line of questioning made me wonder if this is what a genius IQ’s version of pillow talk was. This was very telling… “Disney or Shakespeare?’ That made me think. I hesitated for a moment and I think he wondered if he was talking a bit over my head. I said, “As much as I love them both, I am not sure if I can decide between the two. They both have elements of tragedy, for god’s sake Bambi’s mother got shot! Snow white was poisoned and Cinderella was an orphan.” Derek raised his eyebrows. He was intrigued. I know he was used to being the person who thought outside the box but now I have made him think. Who knew? As much as he was expecting this mannequin type woman to be the needed accessory to his already storybook life, I had depth.
Derek confessed that Finding Nemo was one of his favorites. Yes, it was cute but I think Freud would have a lot to say about this. Isn’t this a fictional world where an anonymous purchaser traps an innocently adorable little fish in an aquarium? Nemo spends so much of his life circling a glass cage while being adored for his beauty from the onlookers. When tired of people peering at him he decides to escape and find his way home. Wow. I think it would be much more realistic if the shark just ate Nemo. Maybe anti climatic but at least there would be an element of truth.
As I sat sipping my third coca cola I had to wonder… Was it possible that Nemo and I were living in a parallel universe? Was I watching a preview of what my future would hold? And if so, would I have changed the ending?
Smooth... enticing... intriging. WOW, what writer. Movie... book, maybe both.
ReplyDeleteThanks daddy. I love you!
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